Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We talked him into tasing himself.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
