Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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