I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
