dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
