That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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