but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
