I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
