Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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