you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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