a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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