She is in my trunk
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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