He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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