...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
