Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
