Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
