I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
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Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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