The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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