i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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