Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
