she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
