im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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