You're so nebulous sometimes
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Watching her eat just hurts me
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
