what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
