I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
