Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize