Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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