I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize