Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
