can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize