A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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