My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think your dad took our porno
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
