2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
