hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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