Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
