Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
