We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
