She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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