ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
