your parents love me but you hate me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize