Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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