I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
