Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
