we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
ok first of all what the fuck
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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