seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
