OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He did a backflip because drugs
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
