There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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