I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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