I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
