Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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