This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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