69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
