Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
