Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You look like a girl that would like strip clubs

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  (732): You look like a girl that would like strip clubs http://tfl.nu/jf13
  Replies (17) Good night (2719) Bad night (841)
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  (510): View more from California

  It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...

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  (510): It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house... http://tfl.nu/3wgf
  Replies (6) Good night (3472) Bad night (651)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.

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  (479): I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/4ovg
  Replies (35) Good night (5746) Bad night (832)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."

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  (615): He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys." http://tfl.nu/9d5s
  Replies (23) Good night (1846) Bad night (5038)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.

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  (440): woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl. http://tfl.nu/ta0b
  Replies (81) Good night (1136) Bad night (4827)
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  (858): View more from California

  last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"

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  (858): last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian" http://tfl.nu/bnai
  Replies (42) Good night (6137) Bad night (887)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough

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  (514): btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough http://tfl.nu/7sph
  Replies (1) Good night (2456) Bad night (958)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.

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  (724): Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote. http://tfl.nu/ighh
  Replies (26) Good night (4009) Bad night (1658)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.

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  (501): As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story. http://tfl.nu/lu21
  Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (2309)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.

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  (613): I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another. http://tfl.nu/23d2
  Replies (10) Good night (1261) Bad night (1962)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?

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  (513): Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ? http://tfl.nu/6gn7
  Replies (15) Good night (577) Bad night (1684)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??

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  (212): Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night?? http://tfl.nu/hu0z
  Replies (2) Good night (1467) Bad night (834)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark

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  (780): I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark http://tfl.nu/gkqi
  Replies (8) Good night (962) Bad night (403)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN

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  (406): I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN http://tfl.nu/6se9
  Replies (1) Good night (292) Bad night (614)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.

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  (570): Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid. http://tfl.nu/yx4k
  Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (278)

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