Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(918): View more from Oklahoma

it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(918): it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup http://tfl.nu/9c9q

Replies (11) Good night (2355) Bad night (607)
Favorite
(318): View more from Louisiana

Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(318): Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog http://tfl.nu/md3l

Replies (263) Good night (1164) Bad night (5813)
Favorite
(618): View more from Illinois

he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(618): he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/b942

Replies (12) Good night (5265) Bad night (1200)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was http://tfl.nu/prge

Replies (6) Good night (3195) Bad night (1129)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though. http://tfl.nu/25nt

Replies (10) Good night (3674) Bad night (1279)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong. http://tfl.nu/d9uh

Replies (26) Good night (1036) Bad night (6384)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking

(530): View more from California

That could use a little rephrasing

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking (530): That could use a little rephrasing http://tfl.nu/xfz9

Replies (5) Good night (1930) Bad night (852)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET http://tfl.nu/m2li

Replies (6) Good night (1664) Bad night (699)
Favorite
(731): View more from Tennessee

She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(731): She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club? http://tfl.nu/0go2

Replies (13) Good night (1825) Bad night (651)
Favorite
(270): View more from Kentucky

You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(270): You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/j0k2

Replies (16) Good night (1812) Bad night (518)
Favorite
(760): View more from California

Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application. http://tfl.nu/49rg

Replies (1) Good night (951) Bad night (392)
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

How are you feeling?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): How are you feeling? (1-541): Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am. http://tfl.nu/yuas

Replies (8) Good night (406) Bad night (697)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips http://tfl.nu/avor

Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (390)
Favorite
(334): View more from Alabama

You're the horniest male I have ever encountered

(404): View more from Georgia

Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(334): You're the horniest male I have ever encountered (404): Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you. http://tfl.nu/3v94

Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (398)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....

(203): View more from Connecticut

Remember when I said I had my shit together?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room..... (203): Remember when I said I had my shit together? http://tfl.nu/xvhs

Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (646)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard