Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.

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(540): I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed. http://tfl.nu/g7od

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.

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(610): he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted. http://tfl.nu/laiq

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

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(412): words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing. http://tfl.nu/a6am

Replies (45) Good night (1359) Bad night (6847)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

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(732): You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice http://tfl.nu/hsgc

Replies (45) Good night (14921) Bad night (1881)
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(765): View more from Indiana

he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.

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(765): he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law. http://tfl.nu/4onk

Replies (13) Good night (6027) Bad night (988)
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(805): View more from California

The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.

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(805): The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery. http://tfl.nu/hbuh

Replies (7) Good night (1294) Bad night (4374)
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(512): View more from Texas

that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.

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(512): that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people. http://tfl.nu/5ebd

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(434): View more from Virginia

i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level

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(434): i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level http://tfl.nu/1fd3

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(619): View more from California

He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.

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(619): He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one. http://tfl.nu/6tfs

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(641): View more from Iowa

But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"

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(641): But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen" http://tfl.nu/78x7

Replies (7) Good night (1096) Bad night (994)
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(310): View more from California

True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

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(310): True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant? http://tfl.nu/aiag

Replies (6) Good night (1062) Bad night (1649)
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(971): View more from Oregon

Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.

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(971): Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica. http://tfl.nu/ptav

Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (326)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.

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(337): Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work. http://tfl.nu/3b5u

Replies (8) Good night (1580) Bad night (474)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.

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(717): I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop. http://tfl.nu/nm3k

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.

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(859): Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people. http://tfl.nu/v0oj

Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (236)

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