Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.

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  (712): The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place. http://tfl.nu/0x49
  Replies (39) Good night (920) Bad night (6930)
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  (646): View more from New York

  The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.

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  (646): The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song. http://tfl.nu/nwvh
  Replies (87) Good night (4188) Bad night (1142)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

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  (217): he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike. http://tfl.nu/fre7
  Replies (47) Good night (8950) Bad night (1069)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  $22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  math is fun

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  (973): $22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency. (1-973): math is fun http://tfl.nu/2txp
  Replies (31) Good night (5331) Bad night (908)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox

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  (785): Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox http://tfl.nu/t30w
  Replies (38) Good night (8458) Bad night (1101)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.

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  (781): Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?! (781): Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze. http://tfl.nu/sc14
  Replies (18) Good night (1039) Bad night (3741)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.

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  (703): No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/2s4x
  Replies (10) Good night (6789) Bad night (995)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.

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  (240): Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me. http://tfl.nu/zpby
  Replies (6) Good night (2914) Bad night (865)
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  (714): View more from California

  It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.

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  (714): It's a self-perpetuating puke chain. http://tfl.nu/kvdz
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (1432)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.

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  (248): He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased. http://tfl.nu/h9lw
  Replies (8) Good night (1960) Bad night (755)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.

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  (863): my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car. http://tfl.nu/8sk6
  Replies (10) Good night (1673) Bad night (757)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.

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  (480): library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch. http://tfl.nu/phk6
  Replies (6) Good night (1068) Bad night (564)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits

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  (330): He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits http://tfl.nu/kxc9
  Replies (11) Good night (1678) Bad night (547)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that

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  (504): You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that http://tfl.nu/k4ts
  Replies (6) Good night (1329) Bad night (636)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....

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  (586): So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up.... http://tfl.nu/j4oi
  Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (258)

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