It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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