How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
