Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  People in love make me want to vomit

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  (609): People in love make me want to vomit http://tfl.nu/3x4v
  Replies (34) Good night (1715) Bad night (2719)
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  (310): View more from California

  YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!

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  (310): YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??! http://tfl.nu/ltdu
  Replies (55) Good night (8711) Bad night (761)
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  (925): View more from California

  GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.

  (1-925): View more from California

  Wtf it's a Friday night?

  (925): View more from California

  PRIORITIZE.

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  (925): GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007. (1-925): Wtf it's a Friday night? (925): PRIORITIZE. http://tfl.nu/9mpa
  Replies (20) Good night (1690) Bad night (3034)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.

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  (303): You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you. http://tfl.nu/1hxd
  Replies (22) Good night (4789) Bad night (956)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal

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  (406): i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal http://tfl.nu/k627
  Replies (36) Good night (5611) Bad night (724)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller

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  (814): Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller http://tfl.nu/2xod
  Replies (9) Good night (2653) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"

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  (319): By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection" http://tfl.nu/gcjm
  Replies (14) Good night (5300) Bad night (1131)
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  (925): View more from California

  Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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  (925): Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here. http://tfl.nu/dbsi
  Replies (9) Good night (3556) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.

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  (716): I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable. http://tfl.nu/tziy
  Replies (6) Good night (2505) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed

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  (480): He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed http://tfl.nu/idar
  Replies (6) Good night (774) Bad night (2612)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way

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  (646): if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way http://tfl.nu/3nwb
  Replies (7) Good night (1526) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"

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  (520): I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito" http://tfl.nu/vbc5
  Replies (8) Good night (1029) Bad night (557)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose

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  (503): I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose http://tfl.nu/4w95
  Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (450)
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  (805): View more from California

  Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.

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  (805): Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves. http://tfl.nu/hmsm
  Replies (4) Good night (785) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.

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  (914): I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man. http://tfl.nu/8gmb
  Replies (5) Good night (414) Bad night (195)

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