I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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