For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
