ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
