And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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