I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
