First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Green mimosas i think yes
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
