I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
