I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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