I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
